10 things you dont know about me

• my favorite pastime is lying down, looking at the clouds
• i love horror movies, but can't really watch them alone, sometimes i fast forward through the really gruesome parts
• i'm the kind of person that makes jokes to hide their feelings
• if i had the chance i would move to a farm right now.
• i find it hard to take compliments, or i just don't believe them myself
• i have extremely good hearing and almost all of the time hear you, when i dont react its cause i'm ignoring you
• i have really high expectations for myself
• im pretty laid back, but i like things going my way
• i sing along with the music played in stores, and might even dance to it
• i think that im painfully average, i would love to do something memorable

2011

I spent my last day of 2010, reflecting......I reflected on the events and achievements of the past year to determine areas that can be improved and processes that can be enhanced. I can say that I was not to pleased with how 2010 panned out.I started the year with a negative outlook. I was very unhappy with my life. I was unemployed, finances were out of order, unhappy and felt that I was going to be eternally single. My mood swings forever dictated my days. There were times when I was happy to see the sun and there were times that I didnt even care if I woke up to see another day. I wanted it all to end. I felt like I was in a black hole. I never really told my friends how I truly felt. Some thought it was a phase and that I was overreacting. Others didnt know at all because I put on a very good front. They would ask questions but I would tell them only alittle bit. (I never really like sharing all with some people. There are very few that knows whats going on with me, I think that stems from me being emotional and most of my friends/associates feel that I react solely from my emotions)

Things did start to turn around in 2010, I went back to teaching after not teaching for a year I realized that thats all I want to do, I did date a man that truly understood me, even though it was short lived if felt good to know that I can be me in a relationship and not have to wear a mask. My finances picked back up. My overall attitude started to change, I also made some decisions when it came to my friends. There where some I had to say goodbye too. It was hard but that is how life is. I wish them no ill will, I wish them all the best.

They say the New Year always offers an opportunity for new beginnings because of the renewed sense of hope it brings. So for 2011, I making changes. My New Resolutions are my goals to achieve in 2011. I know there are somethings that I need to work on. So Im taking it one day at a time

1. Write more-I used to journal put what I was feeling/thinking on paper. It was a wonderful release, I need to get back to that.

2.Be a better friend- I have some wonderful friendships that I need to focus on. They have been there through thick and thin and accept me for me. I admit that I can be a better friend to them.

3.Live life- I do admit that there are times when I see the glass as half empty. Life is hard and there is no instructional manual. But I need to learn how to roll with the punches, grab the bull by its horns and keep it moving

4. Stop being a doormat- Thats a hard one, I know that is written all over me that I bend over backwards for everyone else and put myself last. I need to start saying no, and accept that it will be ok. Others are just going to have to get over it

5. Finish my certification- Ive been teaching for 9 yrs now, I should have my certification by now. Period

6.Accept my past- Another hard one, I am very hard on myself and I dwell and find myself thinking about my past. Yes there are somethings that I wish I did not do, but its too late, its done. I need to learn to build a bridge and get over it.

7. Develop my faith more- I admit, like its a big secret, Im not a religious person. Ive always been more spiritual. For me I feel that I will become a better person if I develop my faith more.

Yes its a short list, I know that I didnt put doing things like exercise more, eat healthy, manage debt. Those are a given. What I wrote down are the ones that I need to focus on and accomplish for me to enjoy 2011. So when I look back on 2011, I know I would have developed a better sense of self. I can look back and smile and move forward. Its a process, one thats long over due.

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]

when i heard this song, i thought wow, how wonderful this is

Friendship

The other day, I celebrated my birthday with my closest girlfriends that live here in the DC area. We worked together at the same elementary school. Outside of my friendships that I developed in college, I really connected with these women. Through them I really learned about how to be a true sincere friend.

Through them Ive learned that a true friend is someone

-who is there for you and support you when you are going through hard times.

-accepts you for who you are and encourages you to be a better person, even thou sometimes you may not want to hear it and secretly you know they are right.

-does not get upset when good things happen to you, just because its not to them at that time.

-you may not see for days, weeks, months or even years but when you talk to them it seems like you just spoke yesterday.

There are no motives behind a true friendship, they will not only just listen or agree with you but tell you when you are wrong and give you open and honest advice.

I care for them dearly, when I get with them. I realize that I should be doing more with my life. They are what and where I should be in life.

I thank you.

The Oak and the Reeds

Are you and Oak or are you a Reed, think about it

The Oak and the Reeds

A Large Oak was uprooted one day by the violent winds of a hurricane. The great tree was thrown across a stream, where it lay amid some Reeds.

Sadly the Oak said, "Here I lie, overtuned by the strong winds. Yet you Reeds, so light and weak, are still upright. How is that possible?"

"You, Sir Oak, fight against the mighty wind,"the Reeds repiled. "You are too proud to bend a little, and so in the end you are destroyed. But we bow before the gentlest breeze, and so we still stand. We have learned what you have not: it is far better to bend than to break.

Ode to a Great Black Man

Hello, I know it has been awhile since I have posted anything. My life has been quite hectic lately. I had decided to finally release what I feel. I lost my father due to a heart attack on July 30, 2007. His death was sudden and it is still a shock to us all. I loved my father dearly. He was a very positive influence in my life. My father taught me to always be myself, that it was ok to make mistakes as long as you learned from them, to live life to its fullest. He always made sure that my brother and I was always exposed to all different aspects of life. He believed in having a firm education but also teaching that it is up to you to expand on it.

Dont just settle, is what my father always said.

He believed in taking care of his family and home first. Everyday I saw my father get up, select his outfit ( for my father was a very sharp dresser), made sure everything was ok for the day before he left for work. Even after my parents were divorced he still made sure that things where ok. My father didnt like for his family to worry. He would find away to get things done. My father was a strong black man. He was not weak. You hear those stories about how some black men are not active in their childrens' lives. Those who know me well have seen first hand how my father was intricate part of my life. For major decisions, yes I would consult my father and he would give his view point, but the decision was mine.

Im not going to lie. I miss my father. He will always be remembered. He might be gone but his memory will live on.

Phyllis Hyman Living all Alone (video)

Song of the Day

I so love this song, I totally understand how you can be surrounded by people yet still feel alone.