Repost-Effective Communication

I recieved this email from a very good friend of mine. These are her words not mine, but I find this topic is one that is lacking in most cases. I had to go back and search for this email. I find myself on one to many occassions lacking communicating to others, especially males. Read and pass it on.

Effective Communication

"I open my heart and mind to be aware that when I amlistening to myself, I cannot hear other people."

We are taught that communication is a two-way process. Consequently, we are not aware that there are threeessential elements. There is talking, there islistening and there is hearing. We talk a great dealbecause we have much to say. In fact, we talk so muchwe often miss the point someone else is trying tomake. Our talk about our past experience is loadedwith perceptions and judgments. When we arelistening, what we hear gets filtered through the same. We do talk, and we can listen. What challenges most of us is learning how to hear.If you really want to hear someone when they trust youenough to talk to you, don’t listen to the words, hear how the words are spoken. All too often, we cannot hear the words because we come to the conversation with our own ideas about who people are. At the sametime, we are determined not to let them see who we are.

In order for effective and valued communicationto occur, you must believe that you are safe, and you must offer that same safety to the other person.If you want to communicate with another person, youmust hear their fear and not dismiss it. You musthear a person’s pain and not overlook it. It is important to hear a person’s guilt and not buy into it. You must be ready to hear a person’s anger and not fuel it. Most people need to know that they havebeen heard.

Listen to their body. Listen to the volume. Listen to the tempo. If you really want tohear someone, open your heart and listen to theirsoul.In the past, you may not have been able to hear whatpeople are saying to you. However, make an effort toclose your eyes when you are in a conversation. Hear every word that is spoken through the center of your heart.