My List

everybody talks about how either you should or should have a list ......you know that list. well i wrote one and here it is

• Shows up on time
• Calls when he says he will
• Chooses honesty over excuses and lies
• Has a sense of adventure
• Has a passion for something
• Is down to earth (NO arrogance or cockiness, thank you!)
• Likes to talk, but also appreciates silence every now and then
• Isn't into drugs or heavy drinking
• Has respect for women
• Is a bit of a family man
• Respects that I'm an independent person
• Enjoys cooking meals
• Is loyal to those he loves!
• Smiles and laughs often
• Gives big, warm hugs
• Appreciates my style
• Makes 3am ice cream runs with me
• Would enjoy spontaneously packing a bag and going away for the weekend with me
• Makes me his top priority
• Is easy going
• Values a strong mind over a strong fist
• Likes to banter back and forth, out of affection
• Is quick witted
• Does romantic gestures for me
• Surprises me, pleasantly
• Can admit he's wrong and apologize
• Has ambition and motivation
• Listens and cares

I Need Love

".........i need love

somebody to touch me

somebody who wants to be with me only

i need love

somebody to hold me

tell me that they love me

never gonna let me go........."

Ledisi
Ineed Love
2009

I just brought this album on Wednesday and when I heard track #11, I was inspired to write. I saw myself in this song. I believe at times that I am the poster child for unsuccessful male/female relationships.

"......love

i don't think i have much more to give to no one else

maybe its time for me to be by myself

because it hurts to much to put my love on the shelf

love....."

I have been told countless number of times that I should spend time to myself. Figure out who Lisa is. This advice comes about when I go through a short lived relationship. Yes it does hurt when they dont last. Yes it hurts when I give my all and get nothing in return. I do admit that I have been used and abused, physically, mentally and verbally. Eventhou I have had my share of bad relationships, kissed a few frongs, I am still holding out. I believe that it is possible to be in a positive healthy relationship. I have plenty of friends, both male and female who are in healty relationships. I do know that everyday isnt going to peaches and cream. Being in a relationship takes alot of work. Communication is key, along with respect, plus on top of that knowing that Love isn´t an adjective, it´s a verb! Love is a verb, an action word. Action means doing, saying, and moving. Its the small things along with the large things that I believe that my friends know the truth of their partner´s love.

".........love

you said you'd never go away

but your gone, and im right back where i used to be

wondering if you really were for me

love....."

So now I sit here wondering when......

Yes it hurts as I sit there wondering..............

when is it my turn.................

Repost-Effective Communication

I recieved this email from a very good friend of mine. These are her words not mine, but I find this topic is one that is lacking in most cases. I had to go back and search for this email. I find myself on one to many occassions lacking communicating to others, especially males. Read and pass it on.

Effective Communication

"I open my heart and mind to be aware that when I amlistening to myself, I cannot hear other people."

We are taught that communication is a two-way process. Consequently, we are not aware that there are threeessential elements. There is talking, there islistening and there is hearing. We talk a great dealbecause we have much to say. In fact, we talk so muchwe often miss the point someone else is trying tomake. Our talk about our past experience is loadedwith perceptions and judgments. When we arelistening, what we hear gets filtered through the same. We do talk, and we can listen. What challenges most of us is learning how to hear.If you really want to hear someone when they trust youenough to talk to you, don’t listen to the words, hear how the words are spoken. All too often, we cannot hear the words because we come to the conversation with our own ideas about who people are. At the sametime, we are determined not to let them see who we are.

In order for effective and valued communicationto occur, you must believe that you are safe, and you must offer that same safety to the other person.If you want to communicate with another person, youmust hear their fear and not dismiss it. You musthear a person’s pain and not overlook it. It is important to hear a person’s guilt and not buy into it. You must be ready to hear a person’s anger and not fuel it. Most people need to know that they havebeen heard.

Listen to their body. Listen to the volume. Listen to the tempo. If you really want tohear someone, open your heart and listen to theirsoul.In the past, you may not have been able to hear whatpeople are saying to you. However, make an effort toclose your eyes when you are in a conversation. Hear every word that is spoken through the center of your heart.

I found out......

I got the strangest text message/phone call last night. I received a text from one of my former coworkers. I did date him for awhile....a short while. He sent me a text cause as he said to discuss something with me, before I found out from someone else. I think the worse, thinking about things at my former school.
then he dropped the bomb....
He got married....
but felt guilty telling me or having me found out from someone else
It hit me, I cant lie Im shocked.......but I am not jealous or hurt in anyway. Ok I did think at one point that I would be the Mrs., that thought left my mind a loooong time ago.
I just said congrats!!!! I am happy for him, I really am.
Just his marriage along with so many others that I know....just got me wondering

when is it my turn?

So far I have heard the following:
1. I do TOO MUCH, what does that mean?
2. Im different from other girls....ok I know that I have my blond moments, and is goofy, ok I dont eat watermelon
3. I want TOO MUCH....someone explain that to me...
4. Im too independent...

Im confused
Im confused

Google

the other day i was hanging out with an old friend from high school. we havent seen each other since he graduated. he was 2 years ahead of me in school. of course then the college years come, we just lost touch with each other. fast foward 8-10 years later, i ran into his twin brother while being out with my friends one friday. his twin tells me the scoop, gives me the rundown, we exchange numbers and be on our way. week passes he calls, we hang out and it felt like thngs havent changed .......to a point.......

he is still the same, he could make me laugh, smile, be me

the funny thing is that we were having a conversation about where are the good ones, both of us has yet to find "the one"
this came up:
him: you should google "where to find a good man" answer should be sitting right next to you
me:lets see

im not confused nor taken back by his answer....his comment made me think about the good guys i know and made me wonder what they are doing now and are they still good guys?
did they get hurt and no longer the good ones?
what happened?